Tomatoes and Bird...truly, that's a bird!!

the tomotoes have started ripening!! and this whole time i've taken comfort that the chickens don't seem to eat the tomatoes....but i watched one shamelessly pecking a hole in a large ripening one yesterday!!! it seems they were just waiting for completion before they snacked.

so, this is a chimney swift!!! kelley is rehabilitating it...can you believe how SMALL it is!!! it fell out of someone's chimney and they couldn't put it back in the nest...the little tike eats every 15 minutes!! she gives it formula for birdies from a syringe...amazing. she is so good at what she does...i have watched pink scrawny things like this turn into animals in such a short time...beautiful.

if ever you who are wildlife lovers are looking for something to donate some money to...kelley would be a very deserving source...all that she does is out of her own pocket...the formulas she buys, the foods, the cages, the books....all her own time and money.....

ok..esme is screaming that she would like to be snuggled! i can't resist =)

thoughts

i am alone tonight.
the kids are in bed...sleeping...dreaming...having no cares and i love that this is true for them.
my parents gave this to me too and i love them for it.
i never knew if we had money or not...
or if we could not go on vacation bc of finances....or how much insurance cost to take care of us...or even what insurance was....
we rarely ate potato chips, icecream or chocolate...never ate anything name branded or wore anything with a label....only went out to eat on celebratory days and shared happy meals...i can remember the times we ordered pizza and how we'd smuggle food into movies....
i don't know why i am reminiscing on all of this tonight...
other than how thankful i am to my mum and dad for making our childhood so seemless...so safe. we had our bonks on the head and ups and downs but our childhood...the collection of feelings and memories associated with being young and under someone else's supervision is full of good things...full of love.
i keep these things in mind for jack and esme...that they may be "all child" so they can be "all adult" one day too...and that doesn't mean forgetting our mischief or playfulness, those are traits we can share at any age....i mean, childishness...there is a day when we lay it aside and i think we are ready to do this if we feel we have drank fully and are ready to pick up the next cup.
i have seen people who cannot seem to cross over into adulthood...those that feel entitled, not completely responsible for their actions and unable, on the whole, to make decisions....and i realize that in a child, we expect this...and it is even healthy. i love when kids just know they will be provided for...when they feel sure that a meal will appear on the table and that mom or dad will always pick them up for school ...when they are making mistakes and knowing that they are doing so in a vat of forgiveness and learning...
but "when we are old we put away childish things" and i feel like that is possible most of the time bc childhood was what it was supposed to be...and if it wasn't for whatever reason, we spend our lives longing for our childhood and unable to move on.
hmmm....does this make sense?
i wish comments were easier on here...bc there are probably lots of holes in this thinking....
really, i am musing on my kids and wanting them to have such a happy childhood...
josh is away tonight visiting pete and kassie in asheville....
so i am going to get an early night....

Fixin' up the Church Grounds

really since we moved to athens 4 years ago, we have attended university church...a house church which meets in downtown neighborhood athens. we lull back and forth between attending redeemer presbyterian which we like so much too...but feel we need to stay put at university church for now while many transitions are taking place.
our pastor, dan orme, in the overalls and beard....is such a special man...a carpenter, the owner of the model T you might have seen driving around town and the man who began this church 35 years ago. he is developing alzeihmers...which is just so sad...it seems to afflict the really intelligent people...and there is that horrible window when they know what is happening before the frustrated bliss occurs when they seem to be oblivious to all they have forgotten. a new pastor has been hired..a young guy named parker...it will be interesting to see the changes in shape the church takes with different leadership in the coming months.
ANYWAY...wow, i can be wordy.
today was clean up day before dan's 75th birthday party taking place next weekend...

Kids and Spinach Spaghetti

josh and mabry were strangely quiet in the kitchen while marybeth and i were chatting...we went in to find them eating a box of spaghetti which was all over the floor....so funny. loved our time there...

Josh in a Tree

esme has taken to waking up A LOT at night and drinking drinking drinking...and then around 5 or 6 am ish she is ready to play play play!!!
so our usual cob swimming playing outside morning.....well, i just couldn't do it this morning...so i called marybeth and asked if i could come and hang out at her place...jack loves mabry and evy...and esme is happy in my arms...so off we went. josh was doing a job just around the corner...so we stopped off and watched a bit before reaching marybeth's house. the size of the branches are intimidating that swing from the tree after josh cuts them...so neat to watch.
o!
we had results of the pill camera and it was all clean!!!
josh has an appointment at the end of next month to think of other options as to what is wrong if not crohn's disease....maybe an allergy which makes him occlude? they aren't sure. pretty great that he might not have crohn's though....maybe the treatment for the "other thing" whatever it is will help to heal him...

Beans Beans Good for your Heart...

even with the chickens dining on the bean leaves like salad, we still have quite a "crop"...i have not picked for about 3 days and we have beans a plenty hanging off the vines! the long ones truly are amazing...and taste so crispy and sweet...esme enjoyed chewing on the while i strung and snapped this afternoon =)

oops...just realized these are sideways...not sure how to change this..o well...just lay down and read this one.

Joe and Julie

What a delight! josh did some tree work this morning and jack and i cobbed and played...and then we heard joe and julie were in town and could come out and play! joe and josh worked on the house while julie and i talked and talked...it was so good for my heart to talk to her about nursing (julie is in school at emory to become a nurse practitioner) and gardening and educating children at home and living small...julie has a way with words...taking mine and her own thoughts and collecting them into more consice packages that i ever could...so i can hear it all at once... and think on it..without getting lost in all the rabbit trails that i tend to attach to my thoughts =)

for the past few evenings, josh has walked our road and picked blackberries...it is his quiet time...just before and then when the whiporwills start discussing their day. he returns and the babies are sleeping and we make custard and curl up and eat our concoction like happy impish children =)

well, tonight, we horridly realized we were near empty on birds custard powder...an english relic that both my brother and i still cleave to. so we found a recipe on line and julie patiently double boiled our milk and egg yolks and made some authentic custard! it was spectacular.

now, the boys are drinking jameson and talking the night away.
ahhhhh.....a peaceful night.

Shots of the Day

this is a great white tomato....which is still green =) but isnt' it huge!...as are my toes now that i look at them up close on a photo...you could play the piano with those things!
i ran into a tree. oops.
nothing too terrible...i just backed into the cedar where we park our cars...in 90 acres, i found the tree to hit =)
this is a patch of mint that i dug up from the meadow near our house...there are sprigs all over and it smells heavenly when we mow...but the grass out competes it so i transplanted a couple bits a few months ago and it has taken over...i love it! jack and i chew on it and it is better than peppermint gum....really strong flavor...thinking of drying some for tea.
and the last shot is of some pumpkin volunteers from our compost...all mixed in with the beans (sorely damaged by chicken beaks)...they are taking over the pathway but i just can't wait to have lots of pumpkins!
we have started eating these little grape sized orange tomatoes....they are so sweet it makes me understand why tomatos are deemed fruits =)

Jack and his Daddy ...and the outdoor shower!

jack loves being near josh...this morning when josh was getting ready for work, jack crawled up in the driver's seat of his truck and just sat there watching...(you can see a tiny jack in the photo =)) and this evening, josh fixed our outdoor shower...and notice his little hands coming through the railing...it is so sweet.
we had a wonderfully regular day....early morning cobbing with jack while esme sleeps...then the 3 of us to the pool...lunch and naps...josh came home early today so we've all been able to hang out more ...so nice. josh worked a little on the extension...fitted a window and put in some insulation...just a little at a time ...
jack is ansy in these late afternoons....it is too hot to go outside really...and he gets fed up with being inside....we've taken to hopping on the beds upstairs....he loves that. i am SOOO excited about having a playroom soon...i have all these ideas of outfitting it for a world of fun =)

Sitting Up - with help =)

Esme likes to be a part of all that i do. or all that jack does...she just adores him...
so anyway, when i cook, she wants to be right there and this little seat does the trick! she'll be 5 months old in about 2 weeks...isn't she just wonderful!!??

Our New Friends

Josh did a job for liana a while back and somehow it came up that she and i both kept a blog....so since then, we have become readers of eachother's blogs....liana's is a super site chronicling (sp) her life with her husband and daughter thalia (pronounced tall-ia and from greek origin) also known on her blog as "the bug", her job which is writing cook books, and her crafty ideas (as in martha stewart not robbing a bank or something).... it is called pie and beer.... http://pieandbeer.blogspot.com/

we decided to meet up this morning at the pool and jack loved having a buddy to play with...and splash! we stayed longer this morning than most which meant my 2 little urchins took a wonderfully long nap when we came home...

i got quite a bit of cobbing finished...i have all these goals in my head of where i want to be with the cob in time for the workshop so that certain areas will be different from others....ie...this one needs a window, this spot needs an arch..etc...so people can see and learn all sorts of different stuff about cob...i am so excited that lots of folks have responded! about 17ish so far!

Jack and the Girls

This morning i went to the midwife office to get a paraguard inserted...
josh and i have gone over and over what to do about birth control....whether we want more urchins or whether we should stop with our 2 darlings...it is just so hard. and then when the decision to go on birth control was made, it was SOO hard for me to decide on what type. all with the possibility of aborting the fertilized egg...no matter how small the chance, well, i just couldn't do this with a full heart....and i am just not good at "almost" anything...it felt wrong for us to do this....and in saying this, i am not making a judgement for anyone else...this is just important to me...one day, i will stand before my Maker, and i don't want to know that there was a child that i didn't birth and love...
all this being said, i decided on the paraguard, a copper IUD that still allows a woman's cycle to be normal...which means we can take other precautions during ovulation (is this way too graphic??) so i can be pretty sure to not conceive.
and the double "protection" (i have always wondered why it is called protection...as if a child is a thing we need protection from!) is not bc we would be upset to get pregnant...what a joy! but bc of the not wanting to conceive and slough off....
o wow, that is way a lot of information....sorry about that...=)
i also like the paraguard though bc it is only copper...making the environment not too fun for the spermies...instead of any sort of hormone...and i like having my period as opposed to getting rid of it as soon methods do....
this is probably a story for another day, but i feel like "pms" gets such a bad rap...
somehow, i feel like that time is used in my life to help me deal with the emotions which shuffle under the surface and get so often downtrodden by choice or busy-ness....they just well up and get dealt with in a very "emotional" sort of way....it's a healing time for me....and why are we always so ready to de-emotionalize ourselves...it is what makes a woman a woman in many ways...our tendency towards emotion as well as reason...which is often a convergence anyway.
all i know, is that Christ is ever more real to me when i am suffering....and this even in the smallest of pms sorts of ways...so i don't run from that time and embrace it as best i can. =)
sooooo, i dropped off jack to play with mabry and evy while i went to the midwife...
and it is sooooo neat to watch jack and mabry play....they are truly buddies, pretending together...so neat. mabry is a doll....she poured enough sand on her head to become a temporary blonde =)

Blackberry, Mulberry and Apple Pie

the deal was if i picked them, he'd bake a pie and true to his word, josh baked the most delicious pie tonight!! i made custard and we sat down after the kids were tucked in bed to enjoy a sweet treat...something we haven't indulged in ..in almost a month! i haven't updated on my sugar fast...if you can call it a fast...more like a removal of sugar from our diet due to serious overconsumption with no greater spiritual good...just a physical one. (which is linked i think but that is a long story of musings for another day)
anyway, the pie was amazing...homemade crust and off the cuff ingredients...he is quite a chef.
when i put jack down to bed and asked him what he'd like to pray for....he said "Jesus, mommy, daddy, pie....cut trees, zane (heidi's son) and pie"
little does he know there isn't a lot waiting for him in the morning....=)

Visit with Heidi and Family

My dear friend heidi who lives in virginia beach came through town today from pensecola (sp?) enroute to home...their kids, ella and zane do amazingly well in the car for the 16hour-ish drive!!! heidi is as beautiful as ever ...she always exudes a happiness even in the midst of difficult times. esme and her third child, sully were born on the same day... sully lived 6 days and brought such joy and then heartache at his death from complications with trisomy 18... i can still see such pain in her eyes missing her little boy...and yet she doesn't seem to skip a beat in being present with her 2 other children and husband, brad. it was so good to get a hug today from her...how i long to live closer!!! why o why is america so big!

funny moment:
heidi's mom and dad live near dan place (a road i remember for some strange reason) and i asked her mom..."so, do you still live near dan place?" and brad thought i said "so, do you still live in that damn place?" hehe
jack LOVED having a little fella to run around with....we met up in madison...which is such a neat little town! i have never really spent any time there....we found a park and a great place to eat....bummer that josh couldnt' come...he was getting hooked up to a computer!

the Goobertron

this is what josh thinks he looks like =) i think it looks like a cell phone from the 90's =) he had a colonoscopy a couple months ago to stage his crohn's disease and they didn't find any to stage! so, he swallowed a camera today and the little computer is taking photos all throughout his tract so they can see the top half of his intestines...to see if they can find the location of the crohn's. he goes this evening to have the computer removed...he is hiding out until then....but of course, i have plastered his picture all over the internet =) (he doesnt' really mind)

Cob Workshop

I've had a handful of people asking about a workshop to learn cob...sooooo, July 12th is it! Here's the plan:
9 am - 11:30ish down at the site, mixing cob, placing on wall, installing "deadmen" and windows
12 noon lunch of salads and breads and cheese...lots of stuff from the garden, tomatoes, cukes, peppers etc...you are welcome to add to the table of food but please don't feel you need to
1 pm - 3:30ish return to the cob site and mix and build some more using corbel cobbing to make arches
5:00 snack and discussion of rocket stoves, rubble trench foundations, passive solar placement and where to find materials in your area...i'll have some handouts too to take home

there is plenty of room to camp friday and saturday nights for any out-of-towners (and hey, we might even have the extension sleep-in-able by then!) and of course you can use the loo inside...we have an outdoor shower and can certainly rig up some sort of shower curtain =)
depending on who and how many people want to come, we may grill out saturday night and have a bring your own meat-ish sort of thing...so let me know if you are interested in this possibility. i know it is hard to comment on these posts so just email me and let me know if you'd like to come
claredms@yahoo.com

Watson Mill Covered Bridge

josh finished work early today so we packed up and went to the bridge to cool our toes and play on the rocks. there is a carpet of mossy stuff on the rocks...well, most of the rocks anyway, so it isn't as slippery as you would think...and wonderfully soft to walk upon. but if you do hit a slippery area it is nearly impossible to stay upright...there is a rock known for its sliding possibilities and jack loved watching kids scoot down its slope.
i remember in college driving out here with my friends nikki, heidi and kim and it was FREEZING cold ...we camped by the river and nearly became collegscicles....but i think of this fun memory every time i see this bridge...that and coming here with my brother matt and his wife monica when josh and i lived in comer...just right down the road.
i am so thankful that our minds are programmed to remember...
what precious gifts are stored in my head.

Marybeth's Sweet Girls

marybeth's brent was having some tests done at the hospital this morning (stomach ulcer related) so the kids and i went over to play with the girls...jack adores mabry and truly had a wonderful day just starting it with them...so very content all day long.

Green

last night we ate lots of green stuff from the garden...i made fried green tomatoes (actually it should have been called not-ripe-green fried tomatoes...one branch grew too heavy and broke off and i didn't want to waste the little morsels)...breaded with cornmeal, parmesan cheese, banana peppers and parsley (garden grown!)....and then sauteed zuchinni and squash and onions and kale from the garden....it was so fun! i felt like i could have one of those garden restaurants...but of course, if this were true we'd have eaten chicken-chewed bean leaves for dinner tonight. alas, those chickens better start laying some super duper eggs...they are decimating the garden!

Cob Update

you can actually sortof see it taking shape! this morning, jack and i made a shelf...and when i say "jack and i" i really mean it....he drew all over the boards =) and nailed nails and screws in all over it...and sat right atop it while i was attaching the boards ...he loves building.
i ate a lot of walnuts the past couple days (this or it is the green apple that esme like to suckle) and it has set off esme's tummy....the past 2 nights and off and on through the day, she has cried and tooted her heart out...so, i am laying off the walnuts. i am still searching for non-chocolate snack alternatives which usually leads me to raisins but as josh says, i have a problem with moderation...so i end up eating the whole box...not the lunchable size ones either. i think that is why nursing is hard on my babies...jack has a horrible time with my milk....it is just that when i like something, i eat a lot of it...and i think the whole well-balanced idea is big for the breast milk.
well, i am off to bed now...
o! while driving our dirt road today, i saw a turkey and a huge deer! not a moose, but the georgia version anyway =)

Josh and Shawn and Jack

jack wanted so much to go to work with his daddy today...so i took him to watch josh in the tree (waving)... shawn is so good with both jack and esme...hugs them and gives them rides in wheelbarrows...i missed taking a photo of jack on josh's shoulders while josh went about the business of tree work...as if he wasn't there at all...so cute. i get a little nervous when i watch josh fall such large trees even though they always land where he wants them too...it is just such a big object falling to the ground!