walking in the woods

Early Morning Blackberry Picking

we got up this morning, ate breakfast and then the 4 of us went picking at the bottom of the land....we picked almost a gallon! it was so beauitful and the birds were just so nice to listen to...and it wasn't too hot! yay!

Lemon Squash

juiced lemon squash today with the rest of the other juicing stuff...
they are so cute...=)

Sitting by the Pool

yesterday after church we went to andy's house...the guy who josh is installing windows for...
it was so relaxing...
we took off esme's cast so she could 'swim' but decided we'd go today and have it put on again...it just doesn't seem right that it comes off.
(we did go today and they put on a bigger up her arm cast...they xrayed it...said it was healing great!)

Car Treasure

jack was digging in the yard and found a car!
now, only if it were a super sized 4 door truck =)

Larva!

esme knows a handful of words..that she can speak...mamma, daddy, jack, flower...and larvae!!!
haha!
we took off the front of the compost to check out its progress and lots of larva fell out...fly larvae...and we spend so much time digging for beetle larva that i didnt' realize she'd learned the word!
when they fell out, she yelled "larva"
so cute

Griffin Update by Mollie

Yesterday was a very exhausting day. We were at the clinic from 7:45am-6:30pm.Griffin had to go under to get the chemo in his spinal fluid. Then after they tested his blood they found that his red blood cells were low so he had to do a blood transfusion. The blood transfusionwent well, but it took a long time. Over all he did a great job being there all day. Altogether he had 3 different chemos. And now at home we are giving him oral chemo and our friend that is a nurse has offered to give him his chemo shots. He has to get 7 shots in the next 2 weeks. He IS the bravest person I know!While we were there we talked to the doctor about everything. He said that the kind of Leukemia he has is different than other ALL. His type has a much less success rate using chemotherapy. His rate is 30% success and they only know if it is a success after 4 years. If after the 4 years of chemo and he isn't the 30%doing chemo again would have a much less success rate. When he was first diagnosed they told us between 80-90% success. So obviously this was a huge blow, to say the least. Our doctors believe he has a better chance of beating this if Griffin does a bone marrow transplant. He will be reviewed by the board of bone marrow transplant Dr.s to see if they think it is the best choice. Once they review we will meet with them and learn the details of how to go about this and the time line.Our Dr. told us that siblings are usually about a 1 in 4 chance of matching. Parents will be the next best thing to a sibling and then strangers. The Dr. doesn't seem to be worried about finding a donor. The best donors are siblings. They have more success with a sibling, so now my tune has changed and I am really hoping that Olive June is a perfect match. There are many risks with transplants 1-His immunity will be so suppressed that infection could be deadly. 2- His body could reject the donor's marrow. 3- The donor's marrow could reject Griffin . He would need to be in the hospital for 1-2 months.This was very hard news to receive. Josh and I couldn't even make eye contact for at least an hour after we found out. I can't imagine life without my son. In my mind I won't settle for less than a very healthy long life for him. That is my prayer. That is what I ask all of you to pray for.I have never had a promise that Griffin would live a long life even when he was healthy. It was something I never even thought of. Day by day you just go through life not worrying about it. Now, I still don't have a promise of long life for him. That hasn't changed. But now that this is in our face, I have to fight the urge to not think of loosing him. I am not called to live in fear. But what do I do? He is my son and I will fight . I will boldly go to the throne of God and ask for healing. I will soak in the love of God, I will ask for His strength. I will receive. He is enough and I pray that my spirit will know that, every second of every day.I share this with you all because I want to. I want everyone to let me be where I am at. I don't want cheesy christian encouragement. I don't want people to tell me everything is going to be okay. That is my hope, I have faith. But it sounds wrong coming from someone other than God himself. As I write this I don't want people to be offended, I just want to be honest. This is really hard. Thank you everyone for your love, prayers and continued support. Mollie

Doling out the Icedream

ez: hey, i want some of that too!
jack: ok, ok, wait a minute wait a minute
ez: faster faster!
jack: it's coming just HOLD ON!!
ez: i can't hold on! i must have icecream RIGHT NOW!
jack putting his foot down: ez, it is COMING!

of course ez's words are all in grunts but we all know what she is saying...and jack repeats stuff we have said...
i love them so much i think i could pop!

The Proud Blackberry Hunter...

has returned =)
we have tried to have really concentrated time with jack the last couple days adn it is so beautiful to see his joy in that.
it is just so easy to run from one thing to the other...be that playing or cooking or gardening..whatever...
but jack NEEDS time when i am (or josh is) looking him in the eyes, engaging personally and focusing on what we are doing together...and he just comes alive...
when he feels "lost" in the chaos or without much of a voice, i can see him withdraw or get sad adn for a 3 year old that means whiny...
i am learning his personality...and i love discovering it!
anywho...all that to say, he and i had a great time picking last night...
and he and josh have been working on the trailer this morning...then to lowes and then to chickfila together...
he is just BEAMING!

Green!

maryb and the girls came over yesterday...
all four of them crawled up on the couch =) to eat their cookies
and then all was quietish in the kitchen....except i heard "green green green"
and then we saw they had the green food coloring EVERYWHERE
their hands were like elves!
to wash up, they all took a bath and turned the water green!

esme's cast has come off 2x and we have carefully put it back on,,,is that supposed to happen?

Smooshed Frog and Sunflowers

we took a walk yesterday morning and jack collected leaves and mica to make a card for griffin...and a flat frog.
we decided in the end to leave the frog...yay!
these sunflowers! they are from 2 little seeds...
that is just so amazing to me!
one seed grew a tall stalk with lots of flowers jutting out the sides and the other is a tall stalk with one giant flower at the top!
there are lots more to bloom...i just love them!

Heart Murmurings

i just nestled my sweet boy into our room...
he comes into our room almost everynight...so i put a crib mattress on the floor of our room and he is quite content to be there instead of his room...
he loves his room...we play in there a lot, he naps in there
but when it is time to sleep, he'd rather be where he can smell us, hear us..."be close to you" he says...
we watched the great documentary of wolves and i couldn't help but see my little ones in those pups...and why wouldn't they want to snuggle and be with their family while they sleep...isn't that just natural?
anywho...
after esme went to bed this evening, jack and i donned long pants and long shirts and drove to the bottom of the property to pick blackberries...
the evening birds were chirping, we saw a handful of rabbits, watched a huge praying mantis crawl all over a long blade of grass...and picked and picked our buckets full.
jack has taken to saying things like "momma, i'll always protect you" it is so sweet...and i have no idea where it comes from...but he knows when he says it, he is being the "man" ...he even walks differently when he tells me ....
i watched him adeptly step on briars to get to the "big" ones and weave his way into the briar patch to pick....he was singing and chattering away about all sorts of things...and my heart just broke...
with thanksgiving for his health and with such sadness for mollie and josh facing what they are with griffin...in this world we are bound for trouble....there is such suffering...there is no escaping it...our relationship with Jesus holds us through it with grace and courage, but certainly, we still walk through those dark valleys. no one is exempt...alas, not even the children.

dear Jesus...please .....please heal this little boy!

Griffin

marybeth and the kids just left...and while here, mb was talking to mollie's mom on the phone...
griffin had an appointment today and it wasn't good news.
his cancer will most likely return and they are going to have to do a bone marrow transplant.
olive june, their 1 year old is the most likely match...but they won't know for sure until she is tested...
i cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through...
i have held my little ones more and snuggled just bc....bc griffin is never far from my mind.

i am not sure if they will make it to the 5k or not...but raising support for them is more important now than ever...they will have so many more costs involved as this is looking to be a long process...
please please please come to the griffin day...it will mean the world to them...and if you can't come and would like to stick something in the mail to help them out...you can send it to us and i'll get it to them...
our address is
475 faust farm rd crawford ga 30630
i know cards would mean a lot too...

Of course we visited the cob...

and swung in the swings...jack is so sad to ever get off one of these...we really need to string some up in a tree outside somewhere...
i finished an arch over what will be the kitchen door...you can sort of see it here...
will post a few others on the cob blog

Watercolors

rachel and katie (a friend from nashville) came today with andrew and jacob!
i love mornings like this on 2 levels...one is bc it is such fun to have a house full of kids...i love watching my kids interact (in esme's case it is to make sure everyone is doing precisely as she wants..alas!)
and on the other hand, i love it bc i love to intermittent girl grown up chat that happens inbetween directing and redirecting the munchkins...
it is like a slice of community...lots of people mucking in...i really love it.
rachel made cookies and muffins to which my kids would have followed her anywhere to receive =)
so fun catching up with katie too...she is such a fascinating person!
and check out her posture!
i need a dose of good posture...=)

LIttle Esme

her shoes are too big bc she insists on jack's old ones...and if he is out playing well, then, she is RIGHT behind him trying to do whatever it is he is doing...
but she'll stop on the rare occasion that i find a hair thingy...bc she likes to be tended...she'll let me try and put her hair up and sit really still....i love just being able to have her in my lap for a couple minutes in a row! =)

Update on Sweet Griffin

mollie and josh keep up a site on his progress and this was posted this morning....my heart just breaks for them!

We heard from the Dr. this afternoon. He gave us good and bad news. The good news first, Griffin is in REMISSION! The bad news is that it might not last very long. We will get more info on Friday, but I guess Griffin's cells or Chromosomes that divide into Leukemia aren't as responsive to Chemo and if/when he relapses they will need to do a bone marrow transplant. THe Dr. said next week or so they will test to see if we are matches. Brothers and Sisters are usually the best match. Which means Olive June might be the donor. I guess she is old enough. The idea of her being the donor sort of horrifies me. Lord give me strength!The Dr. also said that it might take like 2-4 months till he could relapse, so we will continue on the chemo for now and when the Dr.s see any signs of the leukemia coming back they will do the transplant.Needless to say I am kind of pissed off at the new news. I know that God is in control and i don't need to worry, but that doesn't mean that I can't be angry.We will know more on Friday. Friday will be a big day for griffin. He will be getting another bone marrow test, and a couple of chemos. He will also be on a lot of IV fluid because a side effect of one of the chemo's is blood in the bladder. So they flush him out before and after they give it to him. Also this certain chemo can make him really nauseous. So lots of fun to look forward to. My poor child.This is a long road so we desperately need your prayers and support. thank you everyone. Love,Mollie

Yay! we are finished!!!!!