pregnant

with this 4th baby in my tummy...and so emotional when i think of it.
i loved the others when they were in my tummy but it was a very sweet sentimental feeling...maybe even more a joy of being pregnant than a fierce love for the child already...
but i almost can't think of this little munchkin bc i love it so much already i want to hold it dearly.
and that is everything to do with how much i love jack and esme and titus...
the more i know them, the more i see what absolute miracles they are and how they make josh and my life so wonderfully rich and full....

on another note i am eating us out of house and home...i am afraid i have visited the grocery store this month quite a few times.... so ravenous for protein protein and protein.  and bc esme hasn't been well so i have just wanted to get her whatever she would eat.  i feel rounded and happy =)

i haven't been to the doctor yet...i am almost 10 weeks and will go soon....my first appointment is near the end of this month and i will weep when i hear the heartbeat. =)

i haven't been taking a lot of pictures, i have been eating, reading to the kids, playing in the woods with them, shuttling them to school and music, ...and now to bed.

i am grateful and amazed at how life continues to unfold in such cool ways