monica's mom died last night.
monica and her 2 sisters were both there.
it must be such a relief to see her out of pain...but still so dreadfully hard ...kim was only 50 years old!!! half a lifetime lived.
there are services monday and tuesday...viewing and then burial...i FALL APART at funerals...i think of my mum, i think of my kids, i think of my gut honest feelings of not wanting to die just yet and earnestly pray that i won't....
funerals are so centering...
like nursing homes in some way.
reminders of how precious precious our moments are....that all of us will get old (we hope and pray!) and that right now we are more capable and younger than we will ever be...though as i write this, i know in my heart that our capabilities are not to do with an activity level...for certainly our worth is in Christ's love for us alone...and not what we produce...but what i mean is that it is unimportant and futile to wish for another time or lament a wrinkle (though haven't i done this) or "wait until we are ready"...for today is the best of our selves....
alas, i am waxing on...
my heart is just hurting for monica and her family and it does spur me to want to live and live well.....
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