jack's first trip to the dentist~!

he amazes me...the times i am a little apprehensive...like doctors appointments or dentist....he just does shiningly well.
he just marched right back holding dale's hand (whom neither of us had met before) and she said he was his best patient all day.
this afternoon at home he declared "i love the dentist! can i go back tomorrow!"
he is so funny =)
i think it was the glasses....well, and the treasure chest at the end of the visit =)

chick fil a!!!!

andy gave jack a gift card to chick fil a....and he is sooo proud to be able to treat us out...
the kids just love it here...and can split a biscuit and be happy as clams.

david...

and his sidekicks fixing the pipes..
notice jack's saw...he ran and got the one that looked the same as the hack saw david was using...
i do love jack's memory for things...i didn't even know he had a toy hacksaw!

typical kiddo lunch

salad and eggs...

jack's miter saw...

and esme holding her ears bc jack is saying "this is gonna be loud ez!"

under the house trying to thaw the pipes

sammie....when he wasn't being o so friendly.

feel better already!

so, josh and i sit down and have our evenings of watching sherlock or reading or whatever and they make me feel so much better!  yay~! 

o me o my

sometimes i find myself in a place that i know i've crawled out of before. 
and yet here i am again...and not really wanting to go away...and glad to be here.
missing, longing for my mum.
just as torn inside as nov 14th, 1999 when they told me she wouldn't live very long.
like a child...desperate to hold on to her mamma.
i still look at my life and wonder "how do i do this without her?"
i wonder what she would think....how she would laugh with me and encourage me...and bring such fluttery happy light into it...much like my little ones bring....
dear jack and esme...
even just saying their names makes me smile....and somehow comforted.

goodness, i am making it sound like i had a terrible day!  it was a juggly sort of day....but just fine...we woke up early early and tried to play in bed for as long as possible....we raced downstairs with 2 pairs of socks on each to make a fire...the coals were still flickering so it wasn't too hard.  then i went outside to turn the water on (josh installed a cut off at the ground for cold nights such as these) and the lever came off in my hand! oops!
i  found some oldish milk (the only liquid on hand) and heated it on the stove to pour over the pipe to thaw it out....
dressed in my wooly sweater and crouched under the house, i must have looked sheeply....bc sammie came up and tried to get REEEEEAlly friendly....i laughed so hard and tried to push him away...while pouring milk, while singing so the kids above me in the house could hear and not get worried that i wasn't there.....it was a hoot....and sammie! he needs to learn some manners...he would not take no for an answer! 
i couldn't do much with the pipes....tried a heating blanket too...
everyone was interested...the chickens, the turkey, harry, sammie....they were right on top of me!
david came later in the day and fixed some broken pipes....thank you soooo much david!!!!
and the kids and i just rested and played inside mostly....outside a bit...collecting pinestraw for the chickens....inside making cardboard miter saws at jack's request.
watched way too many kid tv shows on the internet.

so, why is my heart heavy? who knows.
i am full and grateful and warm....the kids are sleeping...i have snuggly company....
and yet my heart is heavy...
hmmmm....
i think i just long for my mum to share tea ....to chat....to laugh....to be silly....
and it probably doesn't help that i am listening to music that i loved when she was alive....so some part of me feels alive in the years past...and yet without her...and i am crushed all over again.

i am tearfully grateful to have Jesus holding my heart....putting it all back together again....

Lelli!!!! and Kadam

the kids love kelley and adam

i promise, this isn't a jail we are making =)

so, here's the thing
the 3 of us...jack, josh and i ...usually end up sleeping together at some point in the night...jack comes in, i take him back to bed, i lay down and just stay there...or josh puts jack to bed and falls asleep too and stays there....esme wakes up EARLY so i go into jack's room to snuggle with him so he doesnt' get up too....
but the problem is that jack tosses and turns so much that we can't really sleep next to him...
so i devised the stairbed!
we can sleep together and yet independently!
i think there could be a market for these...telescopic legs....=)
it is working marvelously so far...for night and day!
the kids spend hours up here rolling and jumping ....on the stair bed
but then i got worried about falling off....in all the fun
so we are making a wall...which adam had a great idea to paint like rocks and use the rock climbing holds on the side to crawl up!
anywho...kelley and adam stopped by at a great time today and helped so much!

turkey eggs

well, we have indeed now lost a turkey...there has only been one for about a week now...so sad.
the one we still have is the sweet one though....she just lets you come up and pet her and closes her sweet little eyes....
and today, driving up the hill from the cob, i spied her laying spot in the woods!
18 gorgeous turkey eggs!
we put them in our sweaters and found her and let her see he had them....i hope she doesn't give up laying in this spot...
she is just too big to get up into any of the roosts...so she just lays willy nilly usually...but not for a couple weeks by the looks of it!

snack and cards

pomegranites were on sale at publix....$1.20 each...i couldn't resist a couple...the kids and i just love them and they are such fun to eat...
we packed one in our craft box and once finished with our cards, cracked it open...
then the kids just ran around the played....with sammie and harry both watching with their noses to the window...=)
sammie did find his way in and peed immediately as if to say "ha! on you! i got in!"

watching with mischief...

as jack finishes up a thank you card.

making thank you cards

we went down to the cob this morning and made a roaring fire...dumped out our craft supplies and set to work making cards.
jack informed me we had a lot to write =)
it started out well...with some beautiful watercolors...but quickly turned into a water bath for esme and a sprinkle the glitter fest for jack...
but they loved it...
we spent a couple hours just crafting and singing...listening to some classical tunes...
the wind was howling outside but we stayed warm enough near the fire...
after a while i thought sammie was tryign to head butt the door to find it was david coming over to take a walk...!
he ooed and ahhed over the kids creations which made them inestibly proud =)

cocoa krispies find a home on the shelf...

and jack showing off proudly his new hat from uncle tim in suches.
it fits him just right!