8 Week Checkup with the Midwife

Josh surprised me at my appointment...he hung out with the kids while i met with the midwife...susan. all is back to normal she says. i honestly can't believe that in such a short time of birthing a child, that the body sorta rights itself...certainly a woman's body carries the marks of her pregnancies is various ways...but somehow those ways are beautiful and deep reminders of the amazing fact that a child was grown and emerged into the world through this vessel.
we laughed at how kids like to play pretend. jack plays pretend building....nails and saws everything he can find, pretend cooking...i have quite a few times found crayons (smoking and on fire) and playdough cookies in the oven....today he played pretend pregnancy checkup!!! he crawled up on the table, put his feet in the stirrups and wanted dad's hand for comfort!! grinning all the while. i walked out of the room and found the 3 of them playing in the hallway....jack enjoying pushing daddy around in the "car"

Things we Save

1. Red Wine Labels - i want to cover the inside of a cabinet with all these...they are like little pieces of cool artwork
2. Bacon Grease - our little birdies loooove suet, so we save our bacon grease ...mix it with seed and flour and cornmeal when we have enough, and then smush it into silk containers, freeze it and cut it crossways...perfect size for one of those square suet feeders
3. Egg Shells - i read that if you crunch up egg shells and plant them under your tomato plants, it will prevent blossom rot by 95%
4. Dryer Lint - i read that birds like to use it to make nests....but it looks atrocious just sitting on the lawn or something...so we compost ours
5. Ticks! - gross completely i know but we have already found one on jack this year, so we pull them off and tape them to a 3" x 5" card and then label the date and who it was stuck on...kinda like one of those leave collections under contact paper! =) but just in case someone turns up sick...we know this is unlikely but hey, we are the family whose son got yersinia! the plague sister!

Fire, Tomatoes and Chocolate Cookies

Josh dumps his wood and chips in a mound and after a few of those dumps, we have a mountain of wood. With a little help (ie, the gas can) it becomes a blaze or in this case, a smoldering pile of yummy smelling smoke and fire. Jack donned his shades and we spent the morning burning and hauling more dirt for the garden on saturday. Jack loves to ride on the dirt to the house...waving "byebye" to the fire =)
I've started 11 different types of tomatoes...all heirloom and varied...yellow ones, striped ones, black russian ones, green ones, pineapple ones...to name a few. the frost last week got half of them but thankfully, i have survivors from each type.
After church this morning, we were treated to a delicious brunch at the Grit by marie...i think brunch is my all time favorite meal...their granola is SUPER!! Marie is such a force in our lives...part maternal, part friend, part mentor...just a blessing to josh and i. her husband bill is one of josh's favorite people...i love to hear them banter back and forth and know how much josh loves and admires him.
and sunday has become our eat cookies and watch movies day...so jack and i made chocolate cookies...who needs a mixer when you have a happy stirrer! and we watched chicken run...what a funny movie...josh and i made a chicken condo for our little chicks while the kids slept this afternoon....they are running around like crazy right now...happy for the extra room.
Esme slept for 6 straight hours last night!!! and then another 3!!!
i was shocked and still woke up often to check her but delighted and rested this morning.

Proud daddy of his baby chicks

jack is so gentle with his little chicks. he asks for them by color..."lellow peez", "back peez"...he knows he has to sit in the chair and he isn't too squeeze them...he does just fine with them. i am personally amazed at how fast they grow! and assume featherage! josh is hoping to finish the coop tomorrow. o, and in the end i decided on 6 rhode island reds, 2 barred rock (the black and white ones), 2 partridge rocks kinda brownish) and 1 rooster which is a buff..or something like that...i was told the buffs or bluffs are nicer than other rooster genres.

Uncle Andy and Ree Ree

uncle andy came for a visit last night and jack ADORES andy....probably bc andy adores jack too. after jack's bath, the boys played on the porch...and then andy read him a story and tucked him in...today i had a most lovely visit from my long time friend marie cutts..who was beautifully named "ree ree" by her grandson hunter. esme was all smiles today as i stopped eating wheat...and got lots of snuggles from marie...and i got wonderful conversation. i dream after days like this of having all the people i love so close...i dream of the times when people moved "far away" as in 5 miles down the street but mostly lived next door. i could definitely be a horse and buggy kind of girl...where everything was close by....
anywho..it was a lovely lovely day...


so according to martha...as in stewart, in order to get sweet potatoes to plant, you have to put them in wet sand half way in a dark place and let them get sprouts...we'll see!

Most recent discoveries

1. seaweed that one knows not how to use works great to season beans
2. wood ash contains potassium which is wonderful for vegetable planting soil
3. no matter how cheesy "post natal boot camp" sounds, it is a great workout video!
4. eating less sugar makes me sleep marvelously
5. i sorta like the way my sweat smells (did i really just say that??)

had a lovely day. walked with jack and esme in the woods...we followed a deer trail (at least i think we did) and showed eachother deer poop and scratches on trees and deer stands - "dearsands". we also picked out a spot for the 4 of us to camp out tomorrow...either this will be super fun or the worst idea i've had in a while =) more than likely, it will start out great and then about midnight, josh and i will wonder what in the world we were thinking!!

First Tree Climb

i took the kids to the botanical gardens today...i have so many memories here...one of my favorite photos of my mum and i is one sitting under this very tree. i also remember getting locked in, "attacked" by a herd of deer, bathed in poison ivy, jogging the woods, walking in snow, attending "prom" when i taught school.....and getting married here!

Wayne and Ingie

Jack was so excited to show off his baby chicks...he chatted away like a proud parent =)

Random photos and a dreamy night

It is late...nearly midnight and we've just spent a lovely evening with wayne and ingie...their company is truly enriching and so pleasant. and now, i am snuggled in bed, listening to the fire crackle and roar depending on the wind....the last cold nights before spring. i can hear the chicks nestling down to sleep with their soft chirping noises...and esme beside me..chirping in her own way...quietly sleeping in the fresh crisp sleep of a newborn with truly not a care in the world. i went in and covered up jack...whose white body against the deep scarlet sheets looked huge compared to the little baby i was holding only minutes beforehand...josh just kissed me goodnight and the house is resting.
i have never been a "night" person, but i am quickly becoming one. like right now, i should be sleeping! but i enjoy journaling about my day and jotting down a few thoughts....the snags that i hope won't get lost in the "mundane". today, jack and esme and i shoveled gravel for a short while before i decided that a walk was due...so we trapsed through the woods together...jack wanted to walk across a fallen tree over the creek...and he did so with precision! then our neighbor called to say their plow was running and would be like a bit turned for a garden...delighted, i jumped to say "yes!!!" i posted a photo...we have amaranth, corn, okra and sorghum to plant there!
A couple days ago, esme and i had an adventure.
joan anderson had a plethra of window sashes at her homeplace in east dublin georgia...so off we went to collect them....under 2 hours to get there..not bad. well, i took a wrong turn..a few actually and it took me 4 hours to get there!!!!! but aren't the windows wonderful?!
and finally, a word to hopeful bakers...
one should use good cake pans...mine are not good. everything sticks. great recipe for chocolate layer coffee cake...DELICIOUS...but it is a mound shaped like a cake from cake parts bc it all stuck in the pan.
anywho...off to bed now...

Tree work with a crane!

josh snagged the camera this morning and took this photo of us huddled on the clean laundry =) note that jack and i have un-matching socks...proof that he did in fact inherit something from me! even if he looks like his dad=) behind the fire, i put a drying rack...made from cookie cooler sheets wired together and it was amazing how fast fruits dried this past winter from the heat of the stove...can't wait to try more fruits next year...jack loved the apple treats we made. josh did a crane job today with shawn...pretty amazing stuff.

The Chicken Arrival!

It didn't take long this morning for jack, esme and i to tire of shoveling gravel, so we piled in the car and went chicken shopping! jack kept looking at my strangely until we arrived when i said "want to go and get some chickens?" bc in his understanding, chickens came from the fridge and usually with mustard. at the feed and seed store in crawford, he was overcome with fascination over the rabbits. but i don't see a lot of use for a rabbit...it doesn't lay eggs, you can't milk it..(and if you could you sure would need a LOT for a glass of rabbit milk) and it doesn't usually sit shotgun on long road trips....so, what do you do with them?
ok...i just fell asleep mid sentence.
i 'm not kidding.
night night

Easter visit from my dad and sandra

my dad and his wife sandra came down on easter and it was so good to see them....they came laden with goodies which we gobbled up..especially the chocolate. esme snuggled right into sandra and snoozed like a rock =)

Esme

I read last night that Esme means "loved, esteemed"
how beautiful...for she is so very loved and highly esteemed.

Red Wine and Chocolate

i am missing my mum tonight.
i decided that the breaking of the sugar fast could come on no better of a day than this...
so i ate an inordinate about of chocolate with a small glass of red wine.
small bc i don't want to upset esme through my milk not bc i wanted it that way.
red wine makes me wordy...probably far to open and wordy.
i did things today which made me think of her...
made a cold frame for seedlings, divided tomato plants, played in the creek with jack, didn't do the dishes or laundry, let the floor stay a mess and played instead, watched the sun go down with esme in my arms...
part of writing this blog is the unrealistic hope that she would be out there somewhere reading it...keeping up with my day-to-day life as she used to do....always interested, always looking for ways to add to my life...to make it more complete, soft and fulfilled.
will i be this kind of mom? i hope so.
i never really knew her problems...
she was good at making our conversations about me and my life....
or about life in general and all the good things out there to search for and find.
and yet, i know she must have had her strifes...
but she rarely even burdened us with even her moods...
she had such a constant joy....a steadiness and quietude...ready to listen...ready to laugh...ready to play....she thought enough of herself to take care of herself but not enough to talk about it all the time....
gosh, i loved her.
i loved her hands...i loved that she liked to entertain and make things look pretty..i loved that she could juggle so many things at once and yet never seem too busy to spend time with us...i love that she saw the very best in people...and that she wasn't judgemental but grace filled...i love that she could call a spade a spade....that she appreciated dried herbs, good cheese and early morning walks on the beach...i love that she wouldn't miss a sunset or sunrise if she could help it....that she took the time to journal and write letters and cook people meals who were sick or sad. i love that she loved me and my brother and my dad so much...with all of our insufficiencies, we always felt so good and able and smart... i loved waking up on sat morning and hearing her making breakfast...i loved her kindness, her mischief, her faithfulness and patience which she would say she had little of.
i miss feeling known...so fully. not bc she knew all the details of my life but i knew that even not knowing them or knowing the hard, shameful ones, she'd love me anyway...no matter what. i was never nervous or on egg shells that i could say the wrong thing...i felt utterly known and loved...how special that is...how rare. i never felt silly or insignificant. i just felt loved.
why she died, i don't knwo.
all the dreams that try to work it out and all the best wisdom still leaves me wanting...
she was my best friend...and i'll forever yearn to hold her again...
i love you mum.

6th Anniversary

It is hard for me to believe that it has been 6 years since i've seen my mum. For a long time after she died, i had recurring dreams that she was hurt and i couldn't help her...and then that she was sick and i just didn't visit her for a long time... in those first waking moments i would feel an urgency to call her ..feeling horrible that i hadn't gone to see her. Those are less and less frequent and i am praying they'll be replaced with dreams of a happy healthy mum. She lived such a vibrant life it is sad that my night thoughts of her are so difficult. i think it has something to do with trying to reconcile her great suffering to a reason...maybe my subconscious is trying to answer the wrong question...i mean, does such suffering have to have a reason beyond living in a fallen world?
all that said, i hope i can impart this beautiful woman to our kids somehow...i want them to know their grandma and how much she would have adored them...wanting to be a part of everything she could in their lives....

Babydoll Southdown Sheep

So, josh and i have this dream of raising sheep....these sheep...and i was looking for breeders and found one 5 miles from our house!!! Diane is the lady who owns the farm and breeds sheep and goats and loves all animals...she has one of everything represented i think =)
jack's favorites are the pigs....the male looks like a warthog to me =)
within the next year we hope to fence in enough area to start out with 2 ewes and then a ram once the ewes are old enough to make babies!! and a milk goat or 2....
aren't they so adorable!! They are quite smart and docile and curious...the males don't have horns and almost all are curious and kind natured.

Crush and Run Arrived!

When Josh and i first bought this land, we went to work on a foundation for a cob house. When i was expecting Jack, we decided to build a "faster" option...our little cabin. Even though we are so content in our home, i just can't bear looking at this wonderful stone foundation without cob on top of it! So, the gravel to bring the floors to level was delivered today and as soon as jack, esme and I can get it spread, we'll start cobbing! it is such a dream for me....i can't wait to make a home that hopefully will be a place of refuge and respite for a number of people passing through our lives...

A Valentines Arbor

Josh and I gave up sugar for Lent. Well, let's be honest, we gave it up for half of Lent...but it has been a good few weeks of denying ourselves sweet treats. Alright! Alright! So, we have nearly emptied a quart of honey (it doesn't count bc "it is bee throw up, not sugar!" according to Josh and who am I to argue =)
In all seriousness though, it has been something special...such a miniscule offering but another way to lead our thoughts to Christ and to enter into a celebration more dear on Easter Sunday. My Godmum Sally sent us chocolates which arrived near Valentines Day so they have been tucked away for Sunday. Speaking of which, Josh took all the shepherd hooks and commissioned our friend Adam to make an arbor for my valentines present...isn't it fantastic! Went to visit Lee and Leslie yesterday...what great people...Leslie makes all her own skin care products from natural stuff and Lee is the tractor man for Jack...he loves him. They took this photos while there....

Josh in Tree

People come out and watch Josh when he takes down trees..it is such an amazing thing. ..and i have no idea why this is blue and underlined!! anywho...this past fall, i came up with this grand idea of sending josh out west to hike and camp with his dear buddy bryce....well, it didn't work out for them to go west and he later told me something that makes so much sense. His job is his adventure. He swings from trees with heart racing and chainsaw at full tilt..sometimes 90 feet in the air...he uses muscles he wasn't sure existed and sings "be thou my vision" to calm him and remind him that if all crumbles beneath him, that the Lord is all that really matters. So there is little in him that wants to rough it or work out too much on his time off...makes sense to me!

The COLD creek!

This is when Esme is about 2 weeks old and we walked in the woods as a family for the first of i am sure, many times. she snores like a chicken cooing ...especially when wrapped up in the sling...it is peaceful and so sweet. I was just thinking how cool i was getting when we arrived at the creek...and jack decides that he'd like to walk in it!! So off he goes. Then he turns to josh and declares "come!!" "peez daddy come!" being the sport that he is, josh and he walk the creek together....i was glad to have esme as reason not to enter..=)

Jack and Esme...little joys

esme is about 3 weeks here and SO much like JOSH!!!! cries all the time, makes loud pooping noises...juuust kidding. i mean, in how she looks...i've heard that little babies tend towards their dad's looks at birth so the dad doesn't eat them. ..and then change throughout their lives to look like mom or both or whatever. well, i am not so sure about that....she is pretty much Adams to me...adorable =)

Weekend Away!

Josh and I went away to Glencove for 2 nights!!! we felt like little kids playing...it was such fun. we scurried up the waterfall (the dirt part, not the water part =)), and road our bikes around the lake, canoed at dusk and talked to geese and what we think was an otter....slept by the fire and took naps outside under the hemlocks...it was so refreshing and wonderful. knowing that jack was having fun with grace here at home made it possible for sure. people keep talking about the importance of nurturing a marriage....at all times i know, but when there are urchins around, it seems we have to be so much more purposeful about it. i thought i would be a basket case....but i can see that kids really are resilient and enjoy life that is changing and full....sometimes i feel like the habits and routines of our day are what brings contentment, but not always true. we are blessed to have family and friends who will help be a community for little jack...and love him so well.

Miss Bell

Miss Bell is 80-something and jack thinks she is grand =) we used to live next to her on lumpkin ave, now we go back to visit most weeks. even in the brief time since jack has been born, miss bell has aged considerably. she is quite alone though never seems to be lonely as the saying goes. she never married and has one surviving house-bound sister in her family. we consider it an honor to be her adopted family and covet her prayers as she tells us that is her gift to us. i pray that jack will grow up with a true compassion for the elderly...i think these 2 bring joy into eachother's lives quite beautifully =)

Plaster in the cob pumphouse!

yipppee skipee!!!
it is finally coming together! i have plastered the inside of the cob pumphouse....lots of different plasters...more of a trial to figure out which we'll like in the house. this one is made from sand i scooped up off the side of the road, lime some red clay and water!

Yersinia

Little Jack pushed this cart up and down the hospital halls the moment he started feeling better. After much testing and figuring, it was determined that Jack had yersinia which is of the same genus as the plague!!! Just goes to show that we should never underestimate little old Crawford, Georgia......there are some rare finds here! =)
Just kidding, he could just as likely have gotten it from California lettuce as Georgia creek water. The lessons learned from seeing him sick, and learning to trust God on a whole new level were beautiful but hard. Recently, I listened to a sermon about the glory of God and that truly all things work for His glory...even the hard stuff that doesn't turn out like we want it too....very good to hear but sobering too. We are just grateful for his health and fun...

Jack!

My new Flickr site: www.flickr.com/photos/clareadams

run/walk/crawl

my friend, kim, who is maybe the kindness, most faithful person i know is going to indonesia in january. and even though it isn't a surprise, i can't quite get my mind around it. i'll miss her so much. and will live vicariously through her! so, i had this idea to have a benefit run for her on our land. easy, right? just run through the woods, get a t-shirt, give kim some money...woo-hoo! well, the "run through the woods" part is being made possible by my dear and wonderful husband...the idea is getting actual feet bc he is hacking a path through the brambles....a 3.2 mile path to be exact (though it surely won't be that...exact!). the t-shirts are way cool...light blue with red writing! lots of folks are bringing food....and there are spots galore to camp....not to mention an enormous amount of wood to be burned for a bonfire (which might be seen from outerspace). So, if you are reading this and at all interested in coming..here are the details:
oct 21st, 11 am, our place (call for directions! 706-206-0546) $25 a person for kim, refreshments afterwards..bonfire that night.